i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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