hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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