I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We have started to decorate penises.
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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