didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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