I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize