you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
