Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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