so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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