I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
