Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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