I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This is classic penis vs brain.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
