Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
