it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
