I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
