Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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