Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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