I got chris browned last night
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
