you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize