her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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