i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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