I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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