I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm really busy with my period
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