he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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