i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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