I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
