He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
