just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?