Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.