To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.