Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
