And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
