It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize