Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
