I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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