I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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