I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
