I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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