i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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