I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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