So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
