Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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