he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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