Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
