Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
