You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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