just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
