Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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