I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
