I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
