Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
