He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I believe in your delicious
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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