my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
