new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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