She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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