don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i out mim tonsoeep
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
