I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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